Tag: Hiring

How to Hire a Successful Lead Pastor

3 Priorities for Every Pastor in 2021 Despite All the Uncertainty

How to Hire a Successful Lead Pastor

Hiring a lead pastor is a challenging task. Click through for a complete guide to hiring a lead pastor. We also share important do’s and don’ts for the hiring process.

A lead pastor wears many hats and is likely the first person people think about when your church is mentioned.

Since it’s a special position, hiring the right lead pastor is a challenge. Fortunately, we can help. Keep reading for a complete guide to hiring a lead pastor. We also share do’s and don’ts for choosing and appointing a lead pastor.

The Responsibilities of a Lead Pastor

The lead pastor’s core responsibility to the church is to equip members for ministry. Ephesians 4:11-13 says:

“So Christ Himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers, to equip His people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.”

Generally, the lead pastor’s main duties include the following:

  • Serving as the face of the church for the community.
  • Teaching frequently at weekend services.
  • Performing weddings, funerals, and other ceremonies involving church members.
  • Aligning church activities with its mission.
  • Taking care of the church’s staff and volunteers.
  • Raising funds for church activities.

A lead pastor may also perform a number of other duties, depending on the culture, structure, denomination, and tradition of the church.

Step-by-Step Guide to Hiring a Lead Pastor

There’s a fair bit of crossover between hiring a lead pastor and a business leader. In both cases, you need the right steps to find the right person.

Fortunately, you can do this in five steps. Here’s a guide to hiring the best lead pastor for your church:

1. Create a Job Posting

As we’ve covered before, a lead pastor has many responsibilities. That’s why it’s important to make a job posting that won’t scare possible candidates off.

You still need to detail what’s expected of the candidate as well as their responsibilities, but leave room for discussion. This way, they won’t be deterred and have a higher chance of applying.

Once you have a job posting, you can post it on church staffing platforms. You can also publish the job posting among church members, your church’s denominational network, and other channels.

2. Build a Pastoral Search Committee

There’s wisdom in counsel, as stated in Proverbs 19:20: “Listen to advice and accept discipline, and at the end you will be counted among the wise.” 

A pastor search committee represents your congregation and ensures that it’s not just one person choosing the new lead pastor. This helps alleviate pressure and ensures an impartial decision when choosing a lead pastor.

Where do you get members for the pastoral committee? You can have church members nominate members. Afterward, hold a vote to determine which nominees are on the committee.

3. Review Resumes and Applications

Start reviewing candidate applications after your committee is formed. Examine the candidate’s key qualifications, like their educational background and church experience.

You shouldn’t stop there, though. If a candidate catches your eye, call their previous employers and churches for a background check. You can also watch the candidate’s past sermons to determine if they’re a good fit for your church.

We suggest shortlisting around ten candidates from all the applicants. These ten candidates can then proceed to interviews.

4. Interview the Candidate

You can dig up more details about your candidate during the interview process. One of the first things you should ask is, “What is your personal testimony?” You can learn a lot from a pastor candidate by listening to this story and how they articulate it.

You should also ask questions that gauge the candidate’s spiritual maturity. Determine whether they’re truly called to become a lead pastor in your church or they’re just looking for bigger salaries.

The main goal of the interview process isn’t just to determine whether the committee likes the candidate. Interviews also help you get a good feel for whether the candidate fits your church culture.

5. Choose the Candidate and Job Offering

Every church has its own way of finalizing the pastor hiring process. But, generally, candidates who pass multiple interview rounds will make a personal visit to the church.

You can organize a meet and greet between the lead pastor candidate and church members. Here, your church family can ask the pastor candidate questions, and you can see whether they’re a true cultural fit for your church. If most church members accept the candidate, you can give them a written offer to finalize the hiring process.

Mistakes to Avoid When Looking for a Lead Pastor

Choosing the right lead pastor means your church will be in good hands. Conversely, choosing the wrong one can bring problems to your church and potentially cause conflict between staff and members.

Here are the potential mistakes to avoid when recruiting a lead pastor:

Searching for a Lead Pastor Alone

Searching for a lead pastor shouldn’t be a one-man show. You’ll have a harder time choosing a lead pastor and getting them approved by your community if you do it alone.

A pastoral committee can advise each other on which lead pastor candidate to choose, true to what’s written in Proverbs 12:15: “The way of fools seems right to them, but the wise listen to advice.”

Searching Too Quickly or Too Slowly

We understand wanting to take your time picking a lead pastor. It’s a big decision that shouldn’t be taken lightly. But going too fast is just as dangerous as going too slow.

Moving too fast with your lead pastor search means you might not vet candidates thoroughly before choosing. Conversely, moving too slowly might make great candidates tired of waiting. This leads to them taking offers from other places.

Don’t rush, but don’t go too slowly, either.

Listing Overly Unrealistic Expectations

A lead pastor wears many hats, so it’s normal to expect a lot out of them. However, unrealistic expectations may scare candidates off.

Instead of writing all the qualities you need from a lead pastor in the job posting, consider putting just some of them in. You can find out whether the candidate fits your requirements once you interview them.

Things to Do When Searching for a Lead Pastor

In addition to potential mistakes to avoid, here are some tips to follow when choosing your lead pastor:

Pray for Guidance

Praying for God’s guidance is one of the most important things you can do in your pastor search. Have your pastoral search committee pray alongside church members, asking for God’s guidance to lead you to the perfect lead pastor.

Appoint an Interim Pastor

If you’re hiring to replace a departing lead pastor, there’ll be a considerable gap in your church’s ranks. To fill this gap, you may need to choose an interim pastor. They can help shoulder the former lead pastor’s responsibilities while you look for a new one.

Your interim pastor can be a new hire, but you can also choose one from your existing clergy.

Understand Your Church

A church’s primary mission is to serve God and its community – that much is certain. However, every church has different ways to achieve those goals. Identify how your church worships, achieves its goals, and runs its day-to-day operations to learn what kind of lead pastor your church needs.

Consult Past Lead Pastors

Your church may have had previous lead pastors. One of the best ways to determine the key traits of a lead pastor is to ask someone who’s been there before.

Consider interviewing your previous lead pastors about what’s needed to excel at the job, then build your job description based on what they say. This way, you have an easier time finding somebody that fits your previous lead pastor’s shoes.

Closing Thoughts

Lead pastors are essential because they represent your church and hold many responsibilities. Unfortunately, that makes choosing a lead pastor more challenging than filling other positions in the church.

That doesn’t mean it’s impossible, though. To learn more about hiring a great lead pastor, check out this YouTube video on hiring the right candidate.

Article written by: Tithe.ly

Article taken from here.

Find more blogs like these at MinistryJobs.com/blog

7 Good Questions Before You Hire For An Open Position

7 Good Questions Before You Hire For An Open Position

7 Good Questions Before You Hire For An Open Position

This has been a crazy year, especially when it comes to leading and managing staff changes.

Very few churches have a staff that looks the same today as it did early in March of 2020. How are you feeling about your team?

Remember, every time you change just one staff member, you change your culture—unless you place intentional effort into cultivating and sustaining the culture you want.

Redesigning staff structure when you weren’t planning on it has brought both positive and negative outcomes in many churches.

Re-deployment of staff members from one position to another is very common among churches right now, and re-deployment of a staff member has, in many cases, turned out to be a surprisingly positive and productive change.

However, a more difficult but understandable reality is also in play; there have been lay-offs, voluntary resignations, and some salary reductions.

Few churches are hiring in general, except for positions they absolutely must-have.

The good that comes from the hiring pressures and complexities in 2020 is that church leaders have learned better how to play chess, not checkers, when it comes to staffing strategy. Think ahead as much as possible.

Decision-making is not always easy, but it has become more focused.

If there is any “sloppy” in your hiring process, it has to be eliminated. There is no room for optional, fast, or casual hires.

Staffing has become more intentional, and hiring for your team must be:

  • Mission-critical
  • Growth directed
  • Clearly focused
  • Quickly productive
  • Option oriented

Here are 7 questions that will help you think through your hiring decisions before you actually start a search and interview process.

7 Helpful Questions before you begin the hiring process.

1) Are you hiring for productivity or relief?

Digging deeper in staffing conversations with churches, I’ve learned that while we all know that the best reason for hiring a new staff member is increased productivity, it is often for some relief.

That’s understandable.

Some of your staff carry very heavy loads, and maybe you do too.

But hiring someone primarily because you or someone on your team is exhausted or needs help is not the right place to start.

It’s better to start solving that problem by reducing their list of responsibilities first. Get tough about what doesn’t need to be done.

The staff member is more important than their tasks. You can always temporarily shorten their list some if they are overloaded.

Let me be really blunt. The parts of an existing job that are often assigned to the new position are the less productive and sometimes more annoying roles. Resist that at all costs. Tighten up the position responsibilities!

When you hire, make it your goal to achieve greater productivity as well as the health of your staff.

2) Do you need vision and creativity or implementation and progress?

Most staff members need to possess some skill in both vision and creativity as well as implementation and making measurable progress.

However, a team of mostly visionaries and ideators and too few who can or will execute is not a good mix for consistent progress.

Knowing what your team needs most, ideas, or execution will help shape the design of the role you want to hire. You can ask this question about nearly any position on your team.

3) Do you need to drive growth or manage critical systems and processes?

Driving toward the vision to realize healthy growth and managing key systems and processes are both vital and necessary, but they are rarely a hiring priority at the same time.

It’s smart to put vision and progress first when hiring. However, if you do that long enough without hiring support staff to keep that growth from creating chaos (reactionary, last-minute leadership, etc.,) you can end up losing the ground you have gained.

In short, people will begin to leave your church because you can’t keep up with the basics of everyday growth and ministry.

Which do you need most right now?

4) Are you hiring for the present or banking on the future?

Typically, you bank on your vision (the future) when you hire, but COVID has made that difficult because you can’t see around the corner as well as you once could.

Therefore, strategy is shorter in duration, and that often affects how you hire.

You probably have some staff needs right now, but unsure if you will need the same roles six to nine months from now.

This is a good example of chess, not checkers.

Obviously, you don’t want to hire someone and have to let them go in six months.

Consider one or two other key roles and responsibilities that are needed and similar in nature to the position you are working on. Then ask yourself if the potential staff member may be able to pivot to a new role if needed.

Yes, this practice is layered, nuanced, and subjective. But you are wise to at least consider this question each time you hire in this crazy season.

Think versatility, adaptability, and resilience with new staff.

5) What level of risk are you willing to take?

No matter how much homework you do when you hire a new staff member, there is always an unknown element. There is always a measure of risk. It’s especially important these days to close that risk gap as much as you can.

COVID has changed the level of margin most church leaders are willing to “gamble” on a risk. I’m not suggesting that before COVID, you could be carefree or even careless in your hiring approach, but you likely had a little more margin for a mistake.

If you can only hire one or two people, for example, maybe for an extended period of time, you have to get it right.

Here’s the point. Make your decision in full recognition of how much risk you can accept.

  • Know what you need.
  • Know what you want.
  • Don’t lower your standards just to complete the hire.

It’s far better to endure the pressure of an unfilled staff position than to hire the wrong person.

6) Is this position the highest priority to hire right now?

Having a solid grasp on which staffing positions are the highest priorities is an issue of your hiring process, team alignment, and decision-making.

Your strategy should be set and agreed upon, but the interpretation of how to accomplish it can be subjective.

If you gather your exec staff at the table, or senior pastor and the board, it is likely that no one in the room would give the exact same list of hiring priorities. That’s not a sign of misalignment; in fact, that’s a healthy difference of opinion that helps make better decisions.

Misalignment on your team occurs when you leave the table,  and you were not able or willing to agree on your hiring priorities.

One of the most healthy and productive conversations you can have amongst your leadership team about staffing starts with a question like this; “If you need three staff members and you can only afford one, how do you make that decision?”

7) What would happen if you did not rehire the position?

If you have a position open and unfilled for six to nine months or longer, there’s a good possibility you don’t need that position.

That’s not always the case, but it’s worth asking the hard question.

COVID makes it more difficult to answer, but that question is more objective than subjective.

Here are a few more questions to help you think it through.

  • What measurable progress will be lost if you don’t rehire that position?
  • Will you be placing undue pressure on other staff members? (Keep in mind your option to thin out your ministry expectations.)
  • What can your budget sustain?
  • Could a volunteer do the work? Part of the work? Temporarily?

Article written by: Dan Reiland – Dr. Dan Reiland serves as Executive Pastor at 12Stone Church in Lawrenceville, Georgia. He previously partnered with John Maxwell for 20 years, first as Executive Pastor at Skyline Wesleyan Church in San Diego, then as Vice President of Leadership and Church Development at INJOY. He and Dr. Maxwell still enjoy partnering on a number of church related projects together.

Article taken from here.

Find more ministry blogs at MinistryJobs.com/blog

8 Axioms of Church Staff Hiring

5 Signs of a Productive Follower

8 Axioms of Church Staff Hiring

“I am convinced that nothing we do is more important than hiring and developing people. At the end of the day you bet on people, not on strategies.”

– Larry Bossidy (Retired CEO & Author)

One of the facts of leading a growing ministry is that you are going to have to get really good at hiring a great team. In fact, as the church grows, often the core leadership team will spend a large portion of its time in simply acquiring a fantastic team to push the mission forward. Ministries that scale their impact end up requiring a team of people to get the work of the church done, and therefore, you need leaders who think carefully around the hiring process.

Over the years, I’ve had the privilege of hiring some amazing ministry leaders. These leaders pushed the ministry forward and took us to brand new levels. There is a deep satisfaction in surrounding yourself with a team of people more qualified than yourself to help make the ministry grow. As I reflected on what went right during the hiring process for the top leaders (and what went wrong on people that didn’t work out), I’ve pulled together eight truths for you to reflect on in your ministry hiring.

Past performance is the best indicator of future reality.

When we’re hiring people for roles at our churches, we’re usually in a blissfully euphoric mood that can impair our judgement. The candidates we’re talking to are on their best behavior, saying what we want them to say, and since we feel the pain of the open role we tend to believe them. Church leaders are typically optimistic and hopeful individuals, compounding our ability for self-delusion when it comes to any particular candidate’s qualifications for the role.

Simply put, we imagine skills and abilities that aren’t present in the candidate because we want them to work in our organization. We need to force ourselves to look closely at what they’ve actually done and accomplished in their past roles and graph those results onto our church.

Use performance-based questions to explore what they have actually done and soberly consider if that exact level of performance was achieved at your church, would it accomplish what you’re looking for. Development and growth are a bonus, not a guarantee! In fact, their performance will drop in their early days with your church because new relationships and culture take time to acclimatize to.

Anybody is not better than nobody.

I’ve made this mistake more than once and the pain has stung every single time. We had an open position that we needed to fill for a long time. We struggled to find the candidate from a number of people who applied. After a while, we started to think that the type of person we needed didn’t exist in the world. Slowly our standards for what we wanted to hire started to erode.

Eventually, we got to the point of convincing ourselves that anybody is better than nobody. We begrudgingly hired a candidate that we knew didn’t have all the past experiences we were looking for, but we told ourselves that it would be ok and that they would be a quick learner. However, this logic never works out!

Your church is surviving without the role currently filled, but a bad hire can actually do a lot more damage than an open role. Resist the temptation to prematurely fill open positions at your church with candidates who would not excel in those roles.

The pain of extracting a misplaced staff member is multiple times worse than the discomfort of an open role in your organization.

Internal to consolidate culture. External to change culture.

When you hire a member of your team from within the church, you reinforce the culture that already exists. However, when you hire someone external to your church, you push the culture in a new direction. Over the years, I’ve heard church leaders claim with pride that they just “hire from within” as if that is the badge of honor we’re all driving towards. This is a sure sign that the church will simply perpetuate its existing approaches and systems. If we’re honest though, there are areas of our ministry that need a new sense of life and vision, and those areas should be considered for “external” hires.

The degree of change required in the area that needs change is an indicator of how “external” a hire should be. If you are looking to make tweaks to an area, possibly bringing in someone from a different department within the church would be the best; however, if a ministry needs a complete overall change, you need to go and find the best person from anywhere in the world and get them into that role.

Staff expands.

In 20 years of ministry, I’ve never had a manager come to me and say that they believe the next best move for their area is to reduce the total number of staff in that ministry.

Staff generates the need for more staff. Managers who can keep a close eye on their “head count” and resist the urge to just expand their staff are rare, but a vitally important group in your church.

This is related to the “Parkinson’s law” that states that work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion. People find a way to make jobs more complicated and time-consuming, which in the end requires more staff to get the same amount of work done.

Time stewardship is a real issue in most church staff teams. We need to find ways to get more done with the same number of staff members as a stewardship and care for the time that the Lord has given us.

People move towards where they are from.

Hiring people “from away” can be a source of richness in the life of your community. Team members from another state or even country can add a tremendous amount to your ministry because, by definition, they add cultural diversity to your organization.

However, over time people will generally move back towards where they are from. Family is a strong pull for people over the long arch of their lives. In fact, on average people live only 18 miles away from their parents during their adult years of life.

This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be hiring people from far away, but just be aware that the stress these individuals put on themselves is abnormal behavior and might result in them opting to move closer to home in the long run.

Hire chemistry & character. Develop competency.

You’re going to spend at least 2,000 hours a year around these people; so, ensuring that these are solid relational fits is important. Although you don’t want your staff team to feel like a “frat house”, it should be a fun and enjoyable experience to be a part of.

Moral failures because of character flaws are a more common reason for ministry implosions than ineffective or incompetent leadership. Make sure that through the hiring process you probe the character side of the candidate. Find ways to explore the subtler side of what it means to work in a ministry.

What we “do” in the ministry isn’t rocket science and can be developed while someone serves with your ministry; however, chemistry and character are typically more fixed traits and will settle out over time.

“Really wanting to work at the church” isn’t a qualification.

I’ve been easily flattered (and ultimately fooled) by candidates who are really excited to work at our church. Their enthusiasm is infectious when I’m meeting with them and I find myself wanting to work with them simply because they want to work with me. Please resist this pitfall! Enthusiasm for the mission and community of the church is needed, but it’s not an overarching qualification that should blind you to the other aspects of the candidate’s background.

Often times, this sort of enthusiasm will be even more evident in candidates who are considering joining your church from marketplace roles. You need to explore this particular enthusiasm closely because often it’s rooted in a love for what the church “does”; however, working within the ministry is a much different experience than benefiting from the ministry. Everyone loves the sausage but not particularly the sausage factory!

Hire ministry leaders, not ministry doers.

What are you actually looking for your staff to accomplish in your ministry? It’s important that you are crystal clear on the objectives you are looking to fulfill through this role. My firm conviction is that every staff member needs to be leading the ministry and not just directly doing the ministry. We’re hiring people who can mobilize, train, and release volunteers into the ministry rather than them doing the work directly. You are hiring ministry leaders, not ministry doers! Paul said it clearly in his letter to the Ephesian church:

“And he gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the shepherds[a] and teachers, to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ”

– Ephesians 4:11-12

As you are interviewing candidates, focus on the information they provide about the teams they built and leaders they equipped rather than what they did personally. You’re looking for leaders who can scale their impact through leading teams of people to reach the ministry goals and objectives. Don’t get caught being overly impressed with people who tell you harrowing personal stories of their one-on-one impact on the people your church is serving.

Written by Rich Birch

Article taken from here.

Find more ministry blogs at MinistryJobs.com/blog

5 Tips for the First 30 Days with a New Staff Member

5 Tips for the First 30 Days with a New Staff Member

5 Tips for the First 30 Days with a New Staff Member

You finally were able to hire that new staff member.  You wrestled the budget to find the money . . . you sifted through all those applicants . . . you processed this candidate through the maze of conversations needed to bring them on.  Now this person is about to get started . . . how can you set them up for a win in that first month?  Here are five things that we’re trying to live out at Liquid Church as new staff comes on.  (Dave Brooks has done an amazing job leading this process!)

  • Set The Table // Do they have all the tools they need to get the job done?  Make sure their technology and office space is all ready to receive them.  Nothing says “you’re not welcome” more than not being ready for them to arrive.  (A friend of mine has had business cards printed for new staff members and brings them to the “job offer” interview when the conversation changes to asking them to join.)
  • Schedule Their Time // They won’t know how to spend their first few days . . . so schedule that out for them.  Set the meetings with the people they need to be talking to.  Make sure those people are ready to lead the new staff member in what ever conversations they need to be having.
  • Foster Friendships // Point them in the direction of people that you’d like them to build friendships with.  At Liquid, we assign every new staff member a “mentor” . . . someone who isn’t a supervisor but a peer in the organization (not necessarily from the same area) who we think that new staff could benefit from friendship with.
  • Communicate Culture // Chances are the new staff member was able to parrot back enough about the culture of the church to get hired . . . but don’t assume that they know about the “why” and “how” of your ministry.  Give them key messages to listen to.  Hand out a few books for them to consume.
  • Consider Their Family // The first few months on your team will be effected by how their spouse is feeling about the new role.  Somewhere in your process you need to check in with the spouse to make sure that they are transitioning in this change.  Even if the person is a long time member of the church . . . it’s a huge change joining the ministry staff.

Written by Rich Birch

Article taken from here.

Find more Ministry Blogs at MinistryJobs.com/blog

5 Traits of a Great Boss

5 Traits of a Great Boss

5 Traits of a Great Boss

John Maxwell and Kevin Myers are two great bosses I have worked for in my ministry career. They are both strong visionary leaders, creative, empowering, and love God. I’m grateful for them both.

I have also known many bosses that other people work for who are a cross anywhere between Mr. Rogers and Godzilla. Extremes I know, but bad bosses are unfortunately all too common.

Over the years, I’ve interviewed hundreds of church staff and asked them what they want in a great boss. This post reflects those answers and my experience.

Before we tackle the main list, here’s a quick outline of the basics that everyone has said they valued, and essentially assumed:

  1. Love Jesus – humble spirit, servant heart, hears God’s voice
  2. Continued Growth – secure, learning, practicing leadership
  3. Strong Character – Trustworthy, living by same standards that they expect, discipline to do the right thing.

5 Traits of a Great Boss:

1) They know how to manage the tension between making things happen and making staff happy.

As a boss, you are not responsible for the happiness of your staff. Each of us is responsible for our own happiness. But some bosses try anyway. Good heart, bad leadership. There is a fine line between the leader who gets results and the one who just wants everyone happy.

  • Boss extreme type one: all about the relationships.
  • Boss extreme type two: all about the results.

The truth is you must lead in the reality of both ends of the tension. The team needs to work and play. They need to be challenged and cared for; getting the balance right is tough. They need courage to make the tough decisions and..

2) They know what they’re doing!

It’s difficult to lead if you’re not really good at what you do. Staff will lose confidence in you, and even in themselves if it becomes evident that you struggle with your role as a supervisor. If you are struggling, get some professional leadership coaching as soon as possible.

  • Let’s just say it; great bosses are smart.
  • Great bosses are competent.
  • Great bosses are out in front and lead the way.

3) They are committed to the development of their team.

Great bosses take the time and utilize the resources to invest in the personal development of their team. They want more for their staff than from them.

  • A great boss genuinely cares about the people on the team and treats them with respect.
  • A great boss pays careful attention to leverage strategic and practical coaching moments.

4) They intentionally and consistently empower the team.

Effective development requires empowerment. Therefore, it is important to grasp and practice the art of empowerment entirely. I’m giving a brief outline here, but it deserves much more time and attention than the length of this article can offer. Let me refer you to my book Amplified Leadership for a more thorough treatment on empowerment.

  • Trust with responsibility
  • Train for competency
  • Unleash with authority
  • Communicate for clear expectations
  • Believe in for maximum results

5) They know how to create an environment conducive to success.

Seeing the big picture, knowing what’s going on, anticipating and knocking down problems, as well as setting the stage for maximum wins is at the core of what a great boss does.

  • A great boss knows how to read the playing field.
  • A great boss knows the direction the team should be headed, and how to get there.
  • A great boss knows how to create positive team morale.

Written by Dan Reiland

Article taken from here.

Find more Ministry Blogs at MinistryJobs.com/blog

What Senior Pastors Really Want from their Worship Leaders

What Senior Pastors Really Want from their Worship Leaders

The relationship between Senior Pastors and Worship Leaders can be one of the most difficult to manage.

Though they are both called to shepherd the sheep, they have very little overlap in their function. Of course, some senior pastors were previously worship pastors, but very few worship pastors have been the lead pastor of a church. This makes it difficult for them to really understand one another.

But when you see a healthy senior pastor and worship leader relationship, it’s incredibly rewarding for both individuals and the congregation.

When I was growing up my dad was a “minister of music,” as they were called, for nearly 25 years at 3 very different churches. I’ve now worked full-time under three pastors and university presidents in 13 years and have seen and experienced both what I would describe as healthy and unhealthy working relationships. I’d like to share a few things I have learned and observed.

First, two stories.

A number of years ago there was a transition of senior leadership at the place where I was leading worship and suddenly I had a new boss who couldn’t have been more different from my previous one. Because of the transition there was little time for getting to know one another and sharing vision or ministry philosophy.

So I continued with “business as usual.”

I chose songs, set lists, and volunteers like I always had. After our second service together he called me into his office and asked how I thought worship was going. I responded with something like “solid” or “good”. I then explained a few of the extenuating circumstances that kept it from being an A+, as I began to sense his displeasure.

He responded by telling me that if I wanted to “stick around here” I would need to be “a lot more anointed than this.”

When I pressed for clarity, his advice was to “pray more.”

Meeting adjourned.

Full disclosure, I did “stick around” for a few more years and our relationship grew as we learned to love one another and work well together, but the start was less-than-ideal and caused me far more anxiety than was necessary.

Rewind 15 years…

My dad worked at a diverse megachurch with a thriving choir, orchestra, and production team. It was the place where I discovered my call to the church and my love for music. Rehearsals were challenging, yet fun. The people were authentic and full of life. In my head it was a dream church; it was the perfect scenario to be a pastor’s kid.

But a few years later, when I was in college, I learned that my dad’s experience as a staff member was quite different…

Almost weekly he and the other staff pastors dreaded the meeting where they were sure to be met with a list of unacceptable critiques from Sunday morning. One by one the pastors left: the youth pastor, the children’s pastor, the outreach pastor, and eventually my dad followed suit.

I tell these two brief stories because they highlight the disconnect that is often found between senior pastors and worship pastors.

Senior pastors, like most leaders, have particular desires for what the organization should look like. And yet, so many are unrealistic or go uncommunicated. But, unless the relationship is otherwise strong and healthy, there’s not typically an appropriate opportunity for worship pastors to give their bosses this kind of feedback.

So what can we do? How can we begin to move toward a place of health that will bring support and security to the relationship?

Here’s what I know: no worship pastor ever takes a job thinking it will end with them being bitter or resentful toward the senior pastor. Yet it happens often.

There’s plenty that I think would be helpful to share with senior pastors, but you can only change your attitude and behavior. And if you do I’m almost certain it will begin to corrode the barriers that impede a healthy working relationship.

There are two common hurdles that immediately come to mind when I think about the unique relationship between worship pastors and senior pastors.

The first hurdle: many worship leaders seem to only be concerned about their specific ministry.

You may be thinking, “well of course I care about the whole church!” But are you visibly and verbally revealing that? Admittedly, the worship pastor’s job is more technically demanding than it’s ever been, so it’s easy to get caught up in the minutiae of software and PCO without realizing it. There’s no shame in that.

But your senior pastor can’t do that. They typically don’t have the luxury of focusing on one or two things. The senior pastor’s job is to oversee the whole organization while writing sermons, meeting with people, resolving staff conflict, etc.

How can you take steps to show a genuine interest in the whole organization?

How can you see the big picture rather than just through the lens of your department and your needs? When you’re sitting in staff meeting and the conversation turns to children’s or men’s ministry do you tune out? Pay attention, be engaged, offer helpful thoughts and solutions. Learn to be a true “team player.” Please don’t be a diva – you’re giving the rest of us a bad rap!

Maybe in your context the staff is large enough where you’re not expected to branch out beyond the worship ministry…If so, know that it’s a luxury.

Even still, inherent within your vocation is the call to pastor the people in the pews. And you can always grow as a pastor.

If the overall goal of the ministry is to pastor and disciple people, then model and embody that, first within your ministry and then beyond to people in the congregation. Look for opportunities to lead at a women’s ministry event or share a devotion at an outreach.

The more you’re exposed to the rest of the organization, the more in touch you’ll be with the people and the burdens that they’re carrying. And the more in touch you are with people, the more pastorally aware you will be when leading worship.

The second hurdle: poor communication.

Many worship pastors feel competent singing, but rather incompetent speaking interpersonally. Some are intimidated by their senior pastor. If you are and feel you don’t know where to begin building the relationship, then formulate questions around topics that you know will matter to him or her and be ready for an opportunity to ask them.

Nothing breaks down relational barriers like taking a genuine interest in another person’s life.

Senior pastors also need verbal support and encouragement.

Encourage your pastor when they lead a meeting well, preach a great sermon, are generous with their time or money, make a favorable decision to a request, etc. A specific word of encouragement can go a long way. Do these for your senior pastor even if he or she doesn’t do them with you. Prayerfully embody what you wish were reciprocated.

Maybe the relationship is great on a personal level, but the working relationship is strained and murky.

Are you clear on exactly what your senior pastor desires from the worship ministry? Do you know what a “win” looks like? If you’re unclear then ask for a meeting, be specific about what you’re wanting to talk about so he or she won’t feel blindsided.

If you ask for a meeting, come with specific questions.

Don’t say, “what are you looking for?” or “what do you want?” There’s nothing wrong with that per se, but it forces your pastor to try and articulate vision in ways that you have to translate for your ministry. It might be more helpful to come and ask, “do you like it when I open service like ___ or would you prefer that I ___?” Or “Last Sunday I chose ___ song because of ___. Did you think that was a good decision? In the future, how could I approach a situation like that?”

Communication is a skill that you must learn. If you don’t you’ll have either a short tenure or a frustrated tenure…possibly both.

This blog was primarily dedicated to worship pastors, but there will be a second post to follow with thoughts that I think could be helpful for senior pastors.

Before you leave this moment it might be appropriate to take a minute to pause (especially if your working relationship is tenuous) and pray. Something like, “God help me to do what I can to bring change rather than wishing that he/she would change first.” It might just go a long way.

Written by Jonathan Swindal

Article taken from here.

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What Worship Leaders Need from Their Senior Pastors

What Worship Leaders Need from Their Senior Pastors

A few weeks ago I wrote about the difficulties that can impede a healthy senior pastor / worship pastor relationship.

In my career (and as a bystander of my dad’s career) as a worship pastor I’ve experienced deep and healthy relationships with some senior pastors as well as tenuous relationships with others.

I’ve been wounded & I’ve found healing.

Empowered & felt restricted.

Affirmed & humiliated.

It’s not wise to project my experience on all worship pastors everywhere. But I have enough relationships with other worship pastors to know it’s a ubiquitous experience for those who stay in church ministry for any length of time.

This post is not a “do these 3 things to make your worship pastor submissive” or “3 principles for perfect pastoral relationships.”

All human relationships are complex and dynamic because of our God-given uniquenesses. So we must resist our simplistic diagnoses and responses. But there are patterns that I’ve come to recognize; common desires from both sides as well as common hurdles.

I concluded the previous post with a “letter to worship pastors” as an attempt to share how they can become the kind of worship pastor that supports their pastor and the ministry of the whole church.

This post will be the reverse: a letter to senior pastors.

Full disclosure, I’ve never been a senior pastor, but my present role as an executive pastor has positioned me to see things I couldn’t have seen before. And, I have a healthy and mutually-life-giving relationship with my current senior pastor and I believe I’ve been able to identify some of what we’ve both done to intentionally invest into the relationship.

The purpose of this post is also not for worship leaders to *hint* to their senior pastor by emailing them this blog – or vice versa. Please don’t do that!

That’s passive aggressive and it’s unlikely to bear the fruit you’re hoping it will. But these two posts together can serve to initiate talking points between the two parties. Before you read on, it might be helpful to take a minute and pause (especially if your working relationship is strained) and say a prayer. Something like, “God help me to do what I can do to change what I can change and open our eyes, our hearts, and our minds toward one another.”

The first thing I want to say to senior pastors is please remember that your staff’s primary purpose is to serve God as they serve your congregation alongside you – it’s not to serve you.

 

They work for you, yes, but a healthy church culture (and all relationships, really) is marked by mutual-submission and shared responsibility. You, pastor, are a gift to your congregation. Sometimes you are not treated as such and that is grievous to God. But your staff members are a gift to you for the sake of sharing the enormous burden of leading, shepherding, and caring for a congregation.

With that as the foundation, I would like to get very practical.

When you are tempted to get critical of or frustrated with your worship pastor, ask yourself this question: “Why did I hire them?” “Did I hire them for their theological acumen or their public communication skills?” It’s possible, but unlikely.

Most worship leaders are hired because they have either a single dynamic skill as a singer, musician, songwriter, or charismatic leader or because they are serviceable at a wide variety of musical skills. Of course, this isn’t always the case. I hope you believe your worship pastor is the best in the world at what they do best, but what I’ve witnessed more often than not is: the worship leader was hired because they can sing, play guitar and piano, and they’ve been faithful at their church and then they’re expected to be a great volunteer-team-builder, a visionary leader, a lighting and audio engineer, a pastoral theologian, and a decent administrator.

Those unicorns do exist, but if you don’t have a unicorn on your team don’t expect your worship pastor to suddenly become one.

Quit comparing your worship leader to Phil Wickham or Brooke Ligertwood on stage and to your executive pastor off the stage and simply affirm what they do well. Let’s be honest: if they’re a brilliant musician it’s unlikely that they’re also a brilliant strategist and administrator. You (or another staff member) might have to help them create a plan for growth, execution, and follow-up.

Now, this is not an excuse for complacency or a refusal to grow.

We don’t have the right to be complacent or stagnant as followers of Christ. If your worship pastor seems complacent or resistant to growth it’s likely there’s a much deeper issue. But temper your expectations of them with a measure of reality.

– What do you need most from your worship pastor?

– Have you clearly articulated areas of growth for them?

– If you have, have you empowered them to take steps in that direction?

– Do they have the budget, personnel, and resources to make it happen?

Many feel like they know *what* to do but *can’t* do it for any of these reasons. Find out why and don’t let the reason they *can’t* accomplish the goal be something you could’ve fixed long ago.

I’ve also encountered many worship leaders who feel like their pastor wants *something different* or *something more* but they can’t, for the life of them, name or describe what it is they truly want.

 

Think of how frustrating it is when someone tells you they’re leaving your church but can’t (or won’t) tell you “why” beyond “it’s just a feeling” or “things aren’t like they used to be.” That’s maddening! I challenge you to work hard to clearly communicate what you’re looking for. It might be clear to you, but is it clear to your worship pastor?

I’ve experienced this first hand…

One time I had a boss tell me he wanted worship to be “much stronger.” I wondered: stronger content? Or maybe just louder? More “anthemic” style songs? More talented singers or charismatic people on the team? I was clueless so I inquired. And gained no clarity. Fortunately, over time he affirmed when he experienced what he wanted and I learned to discern it and craft sets toward that end. In a perfect world you would define “the win” together in conversation. But if you can’t do that, it’s your job to define clear goals for him or her.

Lastly, invest in your worship pastor.

If they’re great at the skills of the job, but are lacking in wisdom, spiritual depth, or pastoral care, show them the way. I

Invite them to join you on hospital visits or in pre-marital counseling, give them opportunities to share a devotional at staff meeting, draw them into your sermon preparation every once in a while. Nurture the pastoral calling in your worship pastor through invitation and opportunity. And don’t criticize them when they don’t do something like you would have done it. It could be because they don’t have the education or the experience that you do. But it also could be because they’re not you and their way is just, well, different.

If you treat your worship pastor with dignity and respect as a pastor rather than as a paid musician there’s a good chance they will rise to the occasion.

They are far more likely to have an open and teachable heart when they sense that you view them higher than they view themselves. Call them higher. Invite them. Empower them. Resource them. And be clear with them when they’re repeatedly missing the mark. Your church – and The Church – are far better off when your worship leader functions as a worship pastor, and that’s probably what you want too. Even if you don’t know it yet.

Written by Jonathan Swindal

Article taken from here.

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What Makes a Great Youth Pastor

Dear Church Worker, You Need to Get Out More: 4 Unique Benefits of Getting Outdoors for Those Who Work in Ministry

What Makes a Great Youth Pastor?

Here are 4 suggestions I’d like to add to the list of what truly makes a great youth pastor:

1. A great youth pastor is healthy.

I’m not saying you have to eat kale for every meal. Because at camp that’s literally impossible. I am saying that a great youth pastor prioritizes their personal health, so that they can invest in the health of their staff, volunteers, parents, and students.

This means you are creating habits that optimize your ability to show up at your best each day for the people you’re serving. If you’re crushing it when it comes to programming and creating environments students love, while your physical, mental, emotional, relational, and spiritual health are all being crushed you’re experiencing counterfeit greatness.

2. A great youth pastor is whole.

Being whole has everything to do with your integrity. In fact, Google the word “integrity” and you’ll find that it’s defined as “the quality or state of being whole and undivided.”

To be whole is to have integrity.

Great youth pastors don’t stop at being healthy. They are intentional about being who they are in public while they are in private.

This means that those closest to you benefit most from you.

It means what you do when no one is watching would we worth following if others could see.

This means you make decisions that you’d encourage your staff, volunteers, and students to make as well.

Look, this isn’t about being perfect but it is about doing your best to be whole.

I think we are all theologically sound enough to know that we cannot do this on our own. This is why prioritizing and investing in your own relationship with God means everything. Yet, as a youth pastor, sometimes it’s way easier to help students grow in their faith than it is to experience that growth ourselves.

This is why I think great youth pastors, whole youth pastors, find ways to know and be known by others. Youth ministry is not for the faint of heart. It’s also not for the isolated. Whether it’s a best friend, a mentor, a spouse, or other church staff . . . make sure that someone knows you beyond the formalities of your leadership role. Make sure you give someone you trust access to who you are. No matter how you do this, if you want to be great and you want to serve others the way Jesus was able to, you must make sure to be whole.

3. A great youth pastor is humble.

Jesus already told us that true greatness is service, so we just need to live as though we believe it.

If your goal is to grow to a point where everyone else can do the work and you can watch your influence spread . . . you might need a humility check.

In youth ministry, it can be so easy to let our egos get the best of us. When the compliments come in from parents, when volunteers are willing to go the extra mile, when students show up in droves, when our social media gains traction, when other youth pastors recognize the good going on in our context.

None of this is inherently bad. In fact, all of these things can be amazing.

The differentiator is our level of humility.

That doesn’t mean you can’t take credit for anything. Or that you should put yourself down or downplay the impact of the ministry you lead. But you should ask one question:

At the end of the day, do I think that this ministry rises and falls on me?

Then depending on your answer, you can either continue to remind yourself of your dependence on God daily or you can choose to repent for getting caught up in some pride.

Personally, I’ve been in both positions. Dependence on God is always better than reliance on self.

The Holy Spirit is the only one who changes hearts. Choosing to lead with the humility this statement invokes will having you heading toward greatness in no time.

4. Great youth pastors are hardworking.

This one is last, because I believe for most youth pastors this one almost comes naturally.

Youth pastors know how to work hard. Great youth pastors pour blood, sweat, and tears into the work they are doing to invest in the faith and future of the next generation. You don’t do this at the cost of the first 3 points we’ve covered. But you are willing to work hard as you partner with the Holy Spirit to shepherd students.

By choosing to work hard you’re committing to rewriting the stereotypes of youth ministry. Here are a few ideas on how to do this.

You . . .

  • show up professionally and prepared to contribute.
  • take seriously your responsibility to grow as a student of culture, Gen Z (and Alpha), theology, and leadership.
  • prioritize safety in the ministry in order to build bonds of trust with parents.
  • don’t just take from your volunteers, but you invest in them as human beings relationally and spiritually.

You work hard at all of these things because you believe serving those in your care is serious business.

5. Great youth pastors commit to the long haul.

This one is tough because at last check, the average tenure of a youth pastor is typically 18 months. That’s 1 ½ years of focusing on shepherd students through a 2-4 year journey through middle or high school. Now, I don’t want you to think I’m throwing shade here. I get there is a real temptation to view student ministry as a stepping stone to adult ministry or a lead pastor role. The problem is student ministry should never be a stepping stone.

Student ministry may just be the most important ministry in your local church. I know it’s not always resourced that way. And I know it doesn’t always feel like it when you hear other people talking about it. I know it takes some serious convincing sometimes to believe that yourself. But I can promise you there is no opportunity like student ministry.

The years of MS and HS are often the years where people are developing a faith of their own for the very first time. Abstract thinking is developing (hello, walking in the Spirit) and worldview is being formed. Right in the middle of these critical phases, we are able to help students see that God is active and invested in every part of life.

Gaining Traction in Youth Ministry

Also, just practically speaking, in my experience it takes roughly 3 years to gain any strategic traction in ministry. Now, if your goal is to be a personality that everything else orbits around, this won’t matter a ton. Strong personalities can create flash in the pan success, numerically speaking, pretty quickly. But, if you want to do the work of discipleship . . . like recruiting, training, and equipping volunteers to truly multiply leadership and shepherd students, it’s going to take some serious time.

It wasn’t until my 3rd year of back-to-school training as a youth pastor that I was able to watch the leaders file into the room confident that we had built the right volunteer team. It took 3 years of recruiting, vision casting, and even releasing leaders to other opportunities until our team was able to see the real fruit of the work. After 3 years we knew we still had a long way to go. But, we felt for the first time that we had the right people to help build the right kind of momentum to move us in the right direction.

Student ministry is a long game. I can’t help but wonder what would happen to the state of the church across the world if youth pastors committed to being in the youth ministry space for the long haul.

6. Great youth pastors have a curriculum.

This is a shameless plug. But honestly, it’s really hard to do any of the first 5 things without a solid curriculum. Is it possible? Potentially! Did curriculum clear the way for me to focus on what is most important in youth ministry? 100%!

At one of my former churches, I was asked to lead through some of the darkest and most difficult days in the history of our congregation. They were also days full of potential for creating a healthy student ministry that could help the local church win!

For me, the curriculum that made so much possible during the years of transition in our church was XP3. I used XP3 before I joined the Orange Students team. So, I can tell you that I believed in XP3 Curriculum just as much then as I do now. The beautiful part of getting to be a part of the creation process now is that I know how much it meant to me as a student pastor then. To be able to spend my time investing in leaders, building our staff team, and strategizing way to be a more effective ministry was invaluable. Plus, having curriculum helped me develop as a communicator.

I was skeptical about that last part at first. Until my lead pastor took me to lunch where I pushed back on curriculum. And then he asked me if I think having an entire team of people who spent their work week focused on creating great content would help me develop as a communicator myself . . . which quickly humbled me. After years of using XP3, I realized just how true that was.

Look, as a curriculum user and local church youth pastor, I can tell you that XP3 truly was a game changer in my context.

Wrap Up

There you have it, 6 marks of a great youth pastor.

Just remember: The road to greatness is far less glamorous and far more rewarding than any of us could imagine.

It’s not wrong to want things like more students involved in the ministry.

More influence to make an impact.

And even more opportunities to spread the Good News about Jesus.

But what if true greatness is measured differently?

In fact, Jesus shared a principle that might just shore up any tension you’re feeling at this point in our time together.

But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you (Matthew 6:33 NIV).

True greatness is measured in service. What does it look like for you to serve others in healthy, whole, humble, and hard-working ways?

I have a hunch that it starts by letting go of modern ideas of greatness and choosing to seek God’s vision of greatness first.

Maybe then we’ll begin to see God move in the next generation in ways we never could have asked for or imagined on our own.

Written by Shane Sanchez

Article taken from here.

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7 Times You Should NOT Hire More Church Staff

10 Characteristics Of An Amazing Leadership Team

7 Times You Should NOT Hire More Church Staff

Earlier this year, I received a Twitter request to provide guidelines for hiring additional church staff. Not too long ago, you could add staff according to a clear formula. Typically, that meant one full-time minister for every 100 to 200 in worship attendance.

Unfortunately, it is no longer best to approach adding staff in a formulaic fashion. Most churches do not add staff according to a programmatic approach. In the past, the pattern started with the pastor, followed by either music or education, and then age-graded ministers, such as students or children.

Today, the decisions are much more fluid and contextual. I must have an extended conversation with a church leader before I even begin to suggest additional staff. So, instead of answering the Twitter request directly, I approached it inversely. I thus offer seven occasions when a church should not hire additional staff.

It is not a good to hire additional staff when:

1. When it takes ministry away from the laity. There has been a tendency in a number of churches to bring on staff as “ministry hired hands.” The laity in effect pays the staff to do the work of ministry. This approach is both unwise and unbiblical. A new staff minister should demonstrate that he or she will actually increase the number of people who will do the work of ministry.

2. When you add staff according to the way you’ve always done it. Church practices are changing rapidly. Communities are changing. Technology is advancing. When a church is considering adding new staff, the leadership should see it as an opportunity to re-evaluate needs in both the church and the community.

3. When it’s not a smart financial decision. There will be times when a church should take a step of financial faith to add a staff person. But that doesn’t mean that such a decision is done without prayer, study and good stewardship. Make certain you are comfortable that the resources for the new staff will be available.

4. When a particular group in the church pushes its own agenda. It is not unusual for groups in a church to want their “personal minister” to take care of their needs. Make certain that the addition is best for the entire church, not just a select few with influence or money.

5. When a friend needs a job. Don’t hear me wrongly on this point. I am not saying that a church should never bring on a friend of the pastor, staff or a church member. I am saying that an addition should not take place only on the basis of that friendship.

6. When it’s just to copy another church. I’ve seen this often. A church (usually a large one) employs a new and creative way of adding and naming new staff positions. It won’t be long before I see churches all across the country making identical decisions. Certainly, it’s OK to emulate a church if it’s best for your church. But don’t add staff just because another church is doing it.

7. When you are unwilling to deal with a current ineffective staff member. Here is the scenario. A current staff member is obviously ineffective in his or her current role. So that person is moved to another role, sometimes one that does not add true value. Then a person is hired to fill the role once held by the ineffective staff member. This “workaround” results in a bloated personnel budget and, usually, poorer morale among effective staff members. Be willing to make the difficult decisions before adding new staff.

Written by Thom Rainer. Thom is the president and CEO of LifeWay Christian Resources

Article taken from here.

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5 Signs That It’s Time For A Staff Member To Resign

5 Signs That It’s Time For A Staff Member To Resign

5 Signs That It’s Time For A Staff Member To Resign

When a staff member makes the choice to resign, it can feel like a defeat of some kind, like something broke or a mistake was made. But sometimes transitions are a normal part of staff life.

Some transitions are very difficult. The kind when you need to “fire” someone, but those situations are rare and usually represent one of three things.

  1. You didn’t have the honest and tough conversations.
  2. One or more people were not willing to change.
  3. You waited too long to make corrections.

If we set the more extreme cases aside, we can see that transitions on your staff, while not necessarily routine, can be part of a healthy environment. This perspective is far better than keeping a staff member when it’s not working, just because no one is willing to be honest and make the tough decision.

Of the following list of five signs, more than one might be in play, but rarely all five for one person. Some signs seem like they lean toward negative, but are actually normal, and can sometimes be corrected so the staff member should stay!

1) When the person’s frustration overtakes their productivity, and good coaching doesn’t help.

This is often a combination of competence and circumstance. The person does a good job, but their skills don’t quite rise to the standards necessary to take the ministry to the next level. And good coaching hasn’t helped. As for circumstance, it could be anything from organizational changes to a new senior pastor — ending up in frustration on the part of the staff member. The result is increasing frustration and decreasing productivity.

2) When the person’s discouragement robs their joy, and they can’t break through by prayer.

This scenario tends to be more personal than skills and organizational circumstances. But it can be a combination of many things; from their salary not meeting their needs, to their spouse not being happy at the church. We all experience discouragement, but prolonged discouragement is sometimes only resolved by getting a fresh start.

3) When the person begins to experience an inner restlessness about the environment, and they can’t find peace for months.

This case is often misdiagnosed thinking it’s a bad attitude, lack of loyalty or misalignment. Those are possible, but perhaps God is moving and stirring a change within the staff member in order to prepare them for a move in the near future. The Kingdom of God is large, and God may need him or her somewhere else. Don’t fight that. The important thing in this case is to stay in front of it. Talk about it. Figure out why peace eludes. If you don’t, it will likely turn into an attitude, loyalty or alignment issue.

4) When God speaks and ignites a flame for another place or position of ministry.

This sign differs from the previous one in that God’s voice is bold, clear and decisive. It’s not a gradual stirring. When I left INJOY / John Maxwell Company, I absolutely loved my job, everything was going great, and John and I enjoyed a wonderful relationship. But God spoke and told me that I was to be the XP at 12Stone. John remains my mentor and dear friend, and we both know that had I stayed, that disobedience to God’s call may have derailed my work at INJOY.

5) When their relationships begin to deteriorate.

In some ways this is a combination/culmination of two or more of the above signs. Essentially the person, (or the church leadership), has waited too long. When this takes place, no matter how great the relationships are, or how strong the competence, the primary relationships begin to deteriorate. If this has begun, it must be corrected as fast as possible. It will not get better on its own, and almost always gets worse. Make the change while you are still friends.

Written by Dan Reiland

Article taken from here.

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